Posted on November 21st, 2009 at 7:09 pm by admin
My husband Dave and I are leaving tomorrow for a weeklong Thanksgiving trip which includes a Broadway show during a 4-day stay in New York, and a visit with his sister Beth and her family outside of Philadelphia. As the packing frenzy ends, I feel thankful — a nod to this time of year — that I found the Tao Te Ching.
Before I had read anything related to Eastern philosphy, I was a self-acknowledged “control freak”. I gripped every musical phrase tightly in my pianist hands, because, of course, they all belonged to me, and were totally about me. They were there to make me the complete artist/musician…if only they understood that. But, if I squeezed them tightly enough, I knew they would get the picture.
Eventually, I began to see the truth: that the music really belonged to the Creator, the Visionary, who knew what it was long before I was thought of, and that I was merely the vessel. I found out about a book which explained “the way”, the true process, about eight years ago…Tao Te Ching should probably be required reading for anyone who wants to co-exist with the process of life and everyday productivity, without choking the life out of it.
I learned that, in order for me to really be in control, I needed to live in the moment, and have the most physical options. And, for me to have the most options of any movement, I had to loosen my grip on things. This was such a foriegn concept to me. I had been such a tense pianist for much of my playing career…but I realized that I had to let go, and let the natural laws of things take over. Things had to feel natural in order to be “right”….they had to be logical, and true.
Once they started to “click”, it changed the way I looked at everything in my life. I realized that things didn’t have to be good or bad, they just had to be in line with what was natural or unnatural. I started to relax more, and was a lot happier because it took a lot of the burden and tension off of me.
As I am working on my new CD literature, I see that the tendency to try to “control” phrases occasionally creeps in…but I am loosening the grip…and then gaining the control….
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 19th, 2009 at 4:37 pm by admin
Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that one of the main struggles we have within ourselves is between two desires: to “fit in”, and to “stand out”. I believe that all of us have both inclinations inside…but it’s kind of like handed-ness — one will ultimately show itself to be the dominant one.
But isn’t that what made karaoke so popular? A temporary nod to a desire to create our own performance of a song we love, loosely resembling our favorite artist who had the courage to “go for it”, while still being able to return to the life we made for ourselves away from the stage?
But I believe we really have all “gone for it”.
Years ago, I sang…just okay, nothing that I would try to market (or even really write home about). But the piano was the dominant force inside of me. One of my choral directors, Ralph Enokian, told me twenty-five years ago that one of the two instruments would eventually be my choice…something about trying to serve two masters. And he was right. The piano best expresses what I have to say, and reflects me. I made the choice….I went for it, with the piano.
We all make choices…and that, in itself, is “going for it”.
The beauty of it all is that nobody can do exactly what we are doing, the way we do it. Like DNA, it is impossible to totally duplicate someone else. To try, really, is the true failure.
To embrace the uniqueness, then, is the true success. It needs love, too.
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 17th, 2009 at 1:28 pm by admin
Since my most recent creation for my upcoming CD was completed just a few days ago, I am now in the process of learning and memorizing it. It’s a really slick piece, about one minute long, with loads of energy in the writing…and it requires loads of energy, both mental and physical.
Years ago, I memorized a piece of music as I went; when I had played it enough, it was just kind of “there” in my mind. To a certain extent, that still happens…but now, I sometimes have to learn a piece in a day of two, including memorization (boy, makes you wish for having the “luxury” of a whole semester to learn all of your pieces!). I am finding that my memorization has to be much more methododical….even though I composed the pieces myself.
How so? Well, I first break a given piece down into 8-measure sections. After I make sure that I can play the piece through at slightly faster than half-tempo with no technical mistakes twice (while reading the music), I start with the first 8-measure section, watching my hands and checking my memory while “singing” the musical ideas along in my head. I check myself with the music, and when I have that solidified I move to the next one, until I have completed them all. I also randomly cut the tempo way back and listen to and watch myself play each note.
An additional step is to “play” the piece away from the piano, in my mind, thinking of each note. Years ago, I know I could never have done this very well because my relationships with my pieces were not nearly as intimate. That was probably due to fear…I don’t think we initially like the idea of examining ourselves that closely. I have come to realize that that is the only way to build a relationship — slowly, examining things from every angle. It is a lot like building a relationship with another human being….
At times, it really is an exercise in patience. But when I remember to remind myself of this, the payoff is enormous.
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 16th, 2009 at 9:05 am by admin
I am really beginning to love this strategy.
For most of my playing and writing career, I fell into the same trap almost daily — I would make these elaborate, ambitious lists of things I was going to do every day with a new piece, only to accomplish less than half of it and then be uninspired to return with the same vigor the next day.
Sound familiar to anyone out there?
I have often wondered why we do this to ourselves. Why do we set ourselves up for failure, with sky-high daily goals that we know, going in, that we can’t possibly achieve, if for no other reason than time constraints?
After much thought, I reach the conclusion that we do it for others. Consider this: if we were the only ones who would see and be benefit from the results, would we set these goals as high?
I think about an accident victim learning how to walk again at a rehab center. Just being able to take those first few steps in the weeks after the tragedy is a great accomplishment. The victim, in a case such as that, is really only concerned, usually, about himself and how that walking will help him get back into the swing of living. He learns how to be satisfied with doing less now, to have more later.
But sometimes we get so caught up in how our achievements will look to others….”Oh, that’s not impressive enough…I have to make these strides so that it will impress so-and-so.” As far as I’m concerned, Mr. So-and-so and the Joneses have ruined more lives than any of us can count.
I have a lot to do today. But I am going to do little, things I know I can do, so that later on, I can look back and see how far I’ve come. Just me. And nothing to do with so-and-so.
More notes from my corner of the planet later….Christine
Posted on November 15th, 2009 at 3:24 pm by admin
This morning, I had the privilege of playing a 7-foot Steinway piano in the backyard of a beautiful lakefront home, under the trees. What an incredible setting for the beginning of a new life together! I have played for many weddings in my career, but none quite like this. A lovely young couple (yes, trying not to sound like an “elderstateswoman” here), surrounded by family and friends, had such a beautifully touching ceremony. It is one that I won’t soon forget.
Weddings are always happy occasions, and I feel blessed to have a part in the celebration of the joining of two lives. My wedding in March of 2008 was such a happy day for me…I was relaxed, knowing I had found the very best man in the entire world, and that I was doing not only what I wanted to do, but one of the things that I was born to do. My wish is for every bride to feel that way.
Since it was an outdoor wedding, I was hoping and praying that the weather would cooperate — as it had for mine. And they couldn’t have ordered better weather! I have decided that November is a wonderful month to get married in Florida.
The bride and groom picked out a beautiful mix of classical and pop standards (i.e. Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra) for their pre-wedding music. There are so many nice arrangements out there now…I do all of my arrangements myself, but there are so many sites to give brides good ideas. A good site to check out is: www.pianoreimagined.com. The arrangements are so tasteful, with deverse selections.
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 14th, 2009 at 5:37 pm by admin
It has been a crazy two days.
I find that when a series of student performances happen in a short period of time, I start to run around and concern myself more with logistics than with creativity! But I have some free time to write about my experience yesterday morning.
At first, it felt like a good use of time…I was trying to revise a piece I wrote several years back. It was, potentially, a very sleek work, and I thought I was making real progress.
And then, I played it back to listen…
It said nothing to me! I couldn’t find any meaning in what I thought was going to be a real “signature” piece for me. It was as if I was dragging it, kicking and screaming, out of the womb and to its own birth….and it really wanted no part of it.
I was so completely frustrated, and wanted to push it and revise the revision. But then I decided that I didn’t need to force the unwilling. It was time to back off, and let the small parts which are worth saving (someday) retreat to their quiet stewing place. In their own juices, they can decide if they want to join the land of the living down the road.
Meanwhile, I will move on and cultivate what really works, and take pride in the truth of that.
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 12th, 2009 at 4:50 pm by admin
It is a cold, dreary day (for Florida). Although I have the privilege of hearing two of my students perform this evening in their School for the Arts Concert (one playing Copland’s “Cat And Mouse”, the other the first movement of Mozart’s Sonata in F, K. 189), I dread the drive in this weather. Once I settle into my seat with a program in hand, however, it will be pure bliss!
My best memories of childhood are of rainy nights in my bedroom, writing at my desk with the light of just a little lamp. Creative even then, I had not begun to compose music until probably fifteen years later. But something in me knew…even then…that in tapping into that part of myself, I was “home”.
I think that is the “sense” that we can make of rain. With the exception of the times we indulge in the occasional running through it outside, rain forces us to seek shelter. And I think it is what we seek once we are in shelter that is the greatest comfort to us, and therefore, the most authentic part of us.
That part of me is– writing music which speaks differently from anything else, yet brings my listeners and me together under communicative light. Or, rain…
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 11th, 2009 at 8:56 pm by admin
It’s only 7:30 in the evening, but it is, of course, already dark outside.
I am going to settle into an evening of creativity by the keyboard and the computer here in the studio….after I get some dinner for myself.
I have spent the day teaching my students. I heard seven of them, with one of them canceling due to the flu. It really is a nice balance in the day — listening to student interpretations of pieces, followed by an evening of creating my own.
Teaching gives me such a clear perspective of how an audience will respond to music. Students, if your relationship is open with them, will not be shy about telling you what they feel “works well” in terms of clarity of line and appealing harmonic structure. This is especially true of more contemporary music such as Barber, Copland, Gershwin, Lees, and Dello Joio. I like to “mix it up” with very contemporary writers such as Bober, Rollin, and Alexander as well.
After a day with them, I feel I am ready for Night-spiration: reflecting on their ideas and reactions, and renewing who I am as an artist myself. I only spend two days a week teaching now, so I have time to write full-time the other five days when not performing (thanks to an extremely understanding and supportive husband!). Today’s students are really tomorrow’s audiences, so it is wonderful to see them developing the skills which will make them knowledgeable listeners and appreciative of the craft that I know as my life. So, this evening, they are my Night-spiration.
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 10th, 2009 at 9:55 pm by admin
What a gracious audience today at the Tuesday Music Club in Lakeland, Florida!
Soprano Dr. Liana Valente and I premiered “Collage Of Clicking Clichés” this morning, along with five of my solo piano pieces. They were so appreciative….what a pleasure to perform for them.
I am looking forward to writing more vocal/piano music. The ensemble experience is totally different from that of performing solo. It is a very interesting challenge to put ensemble together creatively, and in such a way that it will have real audience appeal. I don’t think I ever did really well with what I would term “high art”…being an 80’s “pop culture” kid, I care too much now about “mainstreaming” my work so that it will be accessible. Maybe that wasn’t always the case, but I am glad that I now have this outlook.
It was nice to hear the audience laughing between the songs, and sometimes in the middle of them…they were actually supposed to be doing that! One day, I will type the entire text on the blog. The text was typed as part of the program, which was nice for the audience to have.
Hurricane Ida was buzzing past us out in the Gulf, heading up toward the panhandle, as all of this was happening. But even with minor rain bands dampening the day, the conditions were perfect for a premiere.
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine
Posted on November 9th, 2009 at 8:59 am by admin
Is there really a choice here?
Tomorrow morning, Liana and I premiere a 5-song voice cycle which she commissioned from me called “Collage Of Clicking Clichés”. It is a RIOT! We laugh every time we perform it. Liana is an amazing soprano, and I can tell she really enjoys singing it (I think it’s the dancing and look of amusement that give it away…). Her word for it is “campy”. I wrote the text for it as well, which is comprised entirely of clichés for the purpose of telling a “love story”.
I had never written for voice and piano before this, with the exception of trying my hand at pop tunes a while back (I will get back into that, too, shortly). This was a completely new experience for me, and now they will be shared tomorrow for the first time.
It is always such an interesting experience to lay new work out there. It is a part of you….such a deep part of you, and a part you can never take back — like a rung bell.
I will also be premiering five piano solos from my upcoming CD. That is more of my “comfort zone” in terms of creativity. But, wait…..is there really such a thing as a comfort zone when we create? Don’t we always strive to sail unchartered waters? How can that EVER be comfortable?
But we choose to sail…and what we find, we have no choice but to share.
More notes from my corner of the planet later…Christine